Couples Therapy Hamilton

How Couples Counselling Can Help You

While there is something to be said about simply being incompatible with your partner, society and social media have many people feeling that their relationship is automatically “broken” if it’s not perfect.

Even if there isn’t a single issue that is driving a wedge between you and your partner, couples counselling can provide objective and unbiased support in order to help you better understand your situation.

Couples counselling can provide you with the following benefits:

• Improved Marital Satisfaction
• Increased Intimacy
• Reduced Ineffective Patterns (Arguments, Poor Conflict Resolution, etc.)
• Improved Trust and Confidence in the Relationship
• Improved Parenting

Overall, couples counselling can be a crucial step in preventing an unwanted or unnecessary separation or divorce from your partner. It can also be a wise step in strengthening the connection you already have with them.

Our Approach to Counselling

In 2011, Empire Psychotherapy’s founder Ryan pioneered a modern and effective form of couples therapy based on methods that made sense and worked for those who needed it.

Our approach begins with eliminating the common stigma surrounding therapy. Our therapists do not sit in stuffy chairs and nod their heads mindless as you talk about your relationship problems.

Instead, we are dedicated to having real conversations with you in order to guide you to make significant changes in your relationship.

We are also aware that achieving good results means being a good fit with your therapist. This is why we have put together a team of caring, professional, and compassionate therapists so we can find the perfect fit for you and your partner.

Our actual therapy approach at Empire Psychotherapy is based on Attachment theory and we focus on how your early attachment experiences affect your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

This method has proven highly effective and can help you achieve better and faster results!

When Is It Time To Seek Couples Counselling?

As any couples therapist will tell you, there’s never a bad time to seek couples counselling – but below are some signs that you should take action ASAP.

1. Eggshells

If you feel like you’re tiptoeing around your partner and you’re not able to speak your thoughts and feelings openly

2. Bickering

If you find yourselves arguing often and about anything, rather than rarely and only about big issues

3. Defensiveness, Dismissing, Withdrawing

If you or your partner get defensive and deflect, minimize, avoid, withdraw, or try to sweep it under the rug rather than talking about it together

4. Criticism, Contempt, Blame

If you have difficulty getting through a conversation because it gets derailed by criticism, blame and accusations. You may also feel a sense of contempt from or towards your partner.

5. Distance

If you are less connected than usual, feel distant, or notice a decrease in the frequency of intimate time together physically or emotionally. You might even feel like roommates.

6. Cycles of Conflict 

If you’re good for a while, then have a fight, then don’t talk for a while, only to “make up” without resolving the issue, don’t wait for the cycles to get worse or more frequent.

While the above are urgent indicators, a common misconception is that you should wait until things are really bad before you look for a couples counsellor. It’s the total opposite! Couples in all stages of their relationship can benefit from couples counselling, and the sooner you come in, the better.

You’ll learn communication skills, map out your relationship conflict cycle, learn more about each other, and strengthen your connection. A bonus is our services are covered by almost all benefit plans! If you tend to have leftover amounts for counselling and psychotherapy services, couples counselling is a great option to try with your partner.

Couples Counselling: Areas of Support

There are many reasons why a relationship may seem to be nearing its end. Before you give up on your partner, consider the areas in which couples counselling can offer support:

• Anxiety
• Communication Issues
• Constant Arguing
• Emotional Escalation and Blow Ups
• Family Conflict
• Blended Family Challenges
• Lack of Sexual/Emotional Intimacy
• Feelings of Tension
• Insecurity, Jealousy, and Trust Issues
• Infidelity
• Conflict Cycles
• Trauma

These are just a few of the support areas we address at Empire Psychotherapy. We approach every individual client and couple with a perspective as unique as you are.

Even if you don’t know where the issues in your relationship lie, we can help guide you toward better understanding the struggles you have with your partner in order to explore the best methods of helping you with your situation.

Emotionally Focused Therapy for Healing Infidelity in Couples

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is based upon the premise that emotion is a foundational aspect of the self. Emotions inform us about our needs, values, goals, and general well-being, both in situations where they may be either threatened or flourish. As a form of couples therapy, this approach draws upon research in support of attachment theory, which is a fundamental lens here at our clinic. It is a structured approach with the aim to repair distress within relationships.

EFT sessions help couples to identify and understand their emotional experiences. This is done through empathetic listening and expressive intervention. Couples are encouraged to get in touch with their unmet needs and underlying emotions, and express these feelings with each other. Being in a position of vulnerability can create a mutual feeling of understanding and increased communication, and can help strengthen the bond between two people.

Emotionally Focused Therapy for Infidelity

Infidelity in EFT is viewed as an attachment injury, similar to a trauma. In romantic relationships, we become attached to our partner in a way that reflects our attachment style that has developed during childhood. When a breach of trust, such as infidelity, occurs, this creates a wound within our attachment style, known as an attachment injury.

The main focus of EFT is to identify and express emotions and create a state of vulnerability between partners. After emotions are expressed and a state of vulnerability is reached, the next step is resolution. Resolution involves a number of steps.

First, the partner who experienced the betrayal would further address the violation of trust, staying in touch with emotions surrounding the attachment injury. Both partners would need to reach an understanding, and acknowledge the significance and impact of the attachment injury. Continued organization and integrating articulation of the injury to the partner who breached trust, who would then emotionally engage and acknowledge responsibility for their part. The injured partner would then ask for comfort, and the partner who breached trust would respond in an open and caring manner, which acts as an antidote to injury.

How Many Sessions Can I Expect?

EFT is a short-term form of therapy. As with all therapeutic models, there is no set number, as every individual and every experience is different. An estimate for EFT is anywhere between 8 to 20 sessions.